Sunday, April 14, 2024
HomeLifestyleEpisode #214: New 12 months, New Objectives

Episode #214: New 12 months, New Objectives


It’s that point of yr the place everyone seems to be setting targets. At present, we’re going over our targets for final yr and what new ones we’re setting for 2024. Plus, we’re sharing our winter guide membership picks.

You’ll find the podcast posts archive right here.

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Present Notes:

An replace on our 2023 targets:

Elsie:

  • Work on an enormous artwork undertaking (and share on the podcast) by the tip of the yr (Did the artwork undertaking however will likely be sharing it this quarter on the podcast)
  • Learn 52 books (and cease studying if not hooked three chapters in) (Achieved!)
  • Leap round to completely different genres of books (Achieved!)
  • Journey to at least one new place (Achieved! Went to Seaside in Florida)
  • Prioritizing inventive time day-after-day (Failed – too obscure of a objective)

Emma:

  • Work extra on her psychological well being (Achieved!)
  • Getting again into health (Achieved!)
  • Be extra in keeping with going to remedy (Achieved!)
  • Submit her novel to brokers (Achieved!)

Our targets for 2024:

Elsie:

  • Enter artwork period
  • Work on way of life
  • Be a reminiscence mother
  • Keep true to her phrase that she just isn’t renovating her home

Emma:

  • End and put out the audio guide
  • End weblog put up record for the yr
  • Develop a child, give delivery, and hang around with them for a couple of months

Listener Query: What to do if you really feel you achieved your targets? Do you have a good time or simply transfer on to the following one?

Have a good time each achievement alongside the best way to engaging in your objective.

Q1 guide membership picks:

The Solely One Left by Riley Sager

The Useless Romantics by Ashley Poston

The Braveness to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi

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Episode 214 Transcript:

Emma: You’re listening to the Stunning Mess Podcast, your cozy consolation hear. It’s that point of yr when everyone seems to be setting targets. At present, we’re going over our targets from final yr and what new ones we’re setting for 2024. Plus, we’re going to share winter guide membership picks, and I’ve a really large announcement for you.

Elsie: Okay, so earlier than we bounce in, I believe we will all agree. We simply wish to hear what the announcement is. 

Emma: The announcement is I’m pregnant. Yep. I came upon the day after my guide got here out, so it was October twenty third 4th, fifth, or one thing. 

Elsie: Oh yeah! I bear in mind since you bought a bottle of wine and also you made an Instagram collaging it.

Emma: Yeah! I made this champagne bottle that appears type of like the quilt of my guide after which I made a bunch of minis for like first readers and my editor and issues like that. And I by no means bought to open the champagne as a result of the following day I came upon I used to be pregnant. So anyway, I took it with buddies, so that they bought to drink it and I had a tiny sip. So there you go. Additionally, simply the timing of it’s discovering out the day after my guide got here out. Proper after that, like , there are occasions such as you don’t see a good friend for every week or two or no matter, and you then run into one another and folks stored being like, Oh, hey, congrats. And each time I’d have this second of like, How do they know I’m pregnant? After which I’d be like, oh, they’re speaking about my guide. And so it will be like on my face, this like, what are you speaking about? Oh, proper, my guide. And I really feel prefer it gave folks the impression that I like, didn’t care about my guide or I had instantly like forgotten about my guide, but it surely was simply the following day came upon I used to be pregnant. And so swiftly my mind switched into, I’m pregnant mode and that’s the most important information in my life and I type of did neglect about my guide not as a result of I wasn’t enthusiastic about it, however as a result of life shifted swiftly. It’s an enormous shift in your mind. 

Elsie: It adjustments all the pieces. We had been like instantly like within the cellphone name the place she known as me simply to inform me, we instantly had been like speaking about planning and stuff, , such as you simply can’t assist it, it impacts each single factor. 

Emma: It does. You’re like, okay, so timing, like my complete yr is type of deliberate out in a manner, , that’s simply what it’s like. 

Elsie: Effectively, I already realize it’s an ideal child being born in the summertime, the proper time for a blogger to have a child. There’s no higher time of yr.

Emma: I completely deliberate it. No, I didn’t. However sure, I’m due on the very finish of June, and also you in all probability don’t bear in mind, however my son was born on June 2nd. So Oscar will flip three, and if this child comes round their due date, then they may come someday proper after Oscar. So that they’ll be mainly precisely three years aside.

Elsie: Two summer time birthdays, like, that’s excellent, too. 

Emma: I believe it’s actually cute. However yeah, everybody’s already like, oh, you’ll need to resolve about kindergarten if you happen to’re gonna put them in, , like, I’m like, ah, that appears far-off in the intervening time as a result of I’m simply pregnant. 

Elsie: You don’t want to fret about that proper now.

Emma: However I’ve no plans so on it. So I’m like, I’ll cross that bridge later. 

Elsie: Yeah. I believe it’s type of cool to have like a discretionary, you are able to do it both manner.

Emma: Yeah. I believe it’s cool. 

Elsie: ‘Trigger quite a lot of birthdays are like, you’ll be able to’t do it both manner. That is your yr. 

Emma: Yeah, it’s good. You may type of see how your youngsters doing, see what is sensible. Yeah, for certain. So, we’re very excited. 

Elsie: I communicate for everybody after I say that is the very best information ever. It’s gonna be a tremendous yr. Like, I’m so excited for you, and I do know everyone seems to be screaming of their vehicles proper now. 

Emma: I’m very excited, and yeah, I’ll be 38 when this kiddo’s born. As for recording this, I’m like recording it earlier than my first trimester’s over, it’s simply how our schedule works. So it type of nearly makes me a bit bit anxious, however by the point you’re listening to this, I’ll be into my second. And I’ll additionally know the intercourse by the point you hear this, however I don’t realize it right this moment so I can’t let you know.

Elsie: That’s thrilling. I can’t wait. One other little summer time child. Yeah. It’s gonna be a tremendous yr. So yeah, we are going to replace you in a while within the spring about our schedule, however I believe we’re just about taking the summer time off, and the precise dates, are TBD. Yeah. A little bit breaky break. We’ll be good. However yeah, we’re excited to be again for spring now and now we have some superb episodes lined up for you. We’re actually enthusiastic about this subsequent season. 

Emma: Oh, yeah. Very enthusiastic about this season. 

Elsie: So, this episode is New 12 months, New Objectives. I really like a goal-setting episode. It’s certainly one of my prime, in all probability prime three favourite topics that we discuss. I simply suppose it’s thrilling and it’s like so cool how life is stuffed with so many new beginnings, , so many alternatives for a recent begin and, , flip a brand new leaf or, like, make a brand new objective or strive a brand new dream. And that’s, like, one of many issues that, like, retains me motivated in life. 

Emma: Similar. So we thought earlier than speaking about targets for 2023, we’re going to replace you on a few of our 2022 targets. So we’ll simply undergo them and say how we did or say, like, how they modified or no matter, as a result of typically targets change. That’s how issues are. 

Elsie: Yeah, learn them and, like, not even bear in mind what we mentioned. Yeah, I simply learn by way of them. Okay, I’ll do mine first because it’s first on the record. So my first objective of the yr was to, I bear in mind I used to be very obscure about this, work on an enormous artwork undertaking and share it by the tip of the yr. And so the replace is I did work very laborious on this undertaking this yr, however I didn’t share it by the tip of the yr, clearly, however I will likely be sharing it quickly this yr. So it’s like on this quarter, I’m going to begin sharing my artwork and I’m going to make a web site and issues like that. In order that’ll be an thrilling time. That’s what I meant on the time, however yeah, it didn’t occur fairly as on schedule, which nothing ever does, however I’m joyful that it’s nonetheless occurring. And yeah, final yr was a difficult yr. So I’m nonetheless good with the way it all went down. Learn 52 books. So I normally do this yearly. Now that I’m on the audiobook way of life.

Emma: You learn too, however, like learn, learn I imply, ’trigger audiobooks are studying.

Elsie: I learn paper books, however positively extra audiobooks. It simply actually works with my mother’s way of life. I do them after I’m grocery purchasing. I do them after I’m on walks, or decide up. It’s nice. So yeah, I learn greater than 52 books final yr. So verify, achieved. Good with that one. Leap round to completely different genres of books. I believe I did that a bit bit higher final yr than I did the yr earlier than, however I’m nonetheless a comparatively new reader. It will solely be my third yr of studying fiction, so I nonetheless really feel like there are quite a lot of like actually well-known authors that I haven’t even touched but. And there are positively nonetheless some genres that I’m excited about that I haven’t learn. 

Emma: Yeah, I do suppose you’re a reasonably eclectic reader although.

Elsie: Thanks.

Emma: Even like your curiosity. 

Elsie: I positively don’t have one style that I’m dedicated to in any respect. So, yeah, like if I dedicated to just one then I believe there wouldn’t be sufficient books for me. I care extra about like the sensation that I’m getting from the books than just like the story and the , like I don’t want like a constant like I couldn’t keep all in fantasy on a regular basis like some folks do which it appears to be like like so enjoyable for them however I believe I would love bounce round. Yeah journey to at least one new place so we did really do this final yr I’m stunned as a result of we simply didn’t journey for therefore lengthy. We had been, , we bought caught in our COVID way of life and, I do know lots of people with youngsters skilled this, however we had been like, we have to freaking journey. Considered one of our youngsters didn’t have a passport but, , similar to all this stuff that we have to strive for the primary time. We had been planning to have like a 10-year anniversary abroad throughout COVID occasions. And now it’s in all probability going to be like a 13-year anniversary abroad or one thing like that. 

Emma: Cool, higher late than by no means. 

Elsie: Proper. So the brand new place we went to final yr was Seaside in Florida is rather like so cute. It positively bought onto my record of favourite American cities, like Charleston New Orleans, and Palm Springs. It has that form of spirit about it the place you’re similar to, these homes all match and so they’re all cute and I can’t imagine that is actual. It appears to be like like a film really a film set for the Truman Present. They only used the city as their backdrop and it’s darling, so joyful we did that. And Emma and I are going to go quickly, in order that’ll be enjoyable. After which, yeah, my final objective was prioritizing inventive time day-after-day. I believe that that’s a really obscure and bold objective, so I can’t say I did it day-after-day. 

Emma: Obscure and bold, sure.

Elsie: That’s possibly, like, not the best way to make a objective, proper? So, I don’t know, possibly a fail on that one. Okay, inform us yours. 

Emma: However you probably did do quite a lot of inventive work final yr since you labored rather a lot in your portray and made quite a lot of significant progress. 

Elsie: I did have quite a lot of inventive time, however I believe possibly I understand now that possibly I’m not an on a regular basis kind of particular person for something. For like I prefer to get into one thing for every week or two after which get into one thing else for every week or two and possibly it’s okay to have extra of a batch-working pastime system. 

Emma: Yeah. I believe that’s high-quality. Yeah. Okay, so mine from final yr was to work extra on my psychological well being. I had a very powerful yr in 2022, a really unhealthy, fairly darkish yr psychological health-wise. So I used to be like, okay, that’s gotta be an enormous factor for 2023. And I’m joyful to say that I did work rather a lot on my psychological well being in quite a lot of other ways. One of many different targets on my record that feed into this was I mentioned to be extra in keeping with going to remedy, which I did. And there are different issues, too, that I’ve been doing for my psychological well being. Easy issues like happening walks and issues like that, however, , different issues, too, like meditation, and I attempted hypnosis, and simply I don’t know, stuff, different issues. There are many methods to strategy that, and I positively made {that a} large precedence final yr, and it made an enormous distinction. My life feels rather a lot lighter, my thoughts feels rather a lot lighter, and I really feel rather a lot happier. And I’ve rather a lot much less days the place I’m similar to despair, , so I really feel like that was a, you probably did it. Not that I’m completed with that objective, however simply, , I did work on that in 2023. And I believe that was superior. Okay, I additionally did getting again into health, which I did a lot of the yr. I went to Physique Pump rather a lot and likewise went on tons of walks. I’ll say I type of dropped off a bit in direction of the tip of the yr, but it surely’s as a result of as you now know, I’m pregnant. And my first trimester, I used to be extraordinarily sick, very, very, very nauseous for mainly two strong months. It makes it laborious to work out. 

Elsie: Yeah, she couldn’t stand any smells. She had like so many aversions.

Emma: It was tough. I nonetheless go on walks so far as health goes. Yeah. It was a tough time, however , didn’t final ceaselessly. I’m already feeling higher. In order that’s all good. After which my final objective that I had from final yr was to submit my novel to brokers. Which I did, I submitted it to a number of brokers. And lots of of them I didn’t hear again from, and those that I did all rejected it. So I made a decision to self-publish, and I did that final yr. And I’m actually pleased with that call. It’s labored out nice. 

Elsie: Yeah, I’m actually pleased with you as a result of one thing I actually admire about Emma is the power to at all times end. She’s like so constant, so targeted. And if there’s a roadblock that, for me, would make me, like, give up, for her, it nearly by no means does. So, it’s an excellent high quality to have. 

Emma: Thanks. 

Elsie: You made it work. 

Emma: I believe too, I can get very tunnel imaginative and prescient about, like, I don’t know the way to phrase this. I simply don’t fear an excessive amount of about what different folks suppose. So I simply am like, nicely, I’m going to determine this out for myself, it doesn’t matter what. I don’t have any qualms about trying like I didn’t do it the right manner or, oh, it wasn’t excellent. I can’t imagine you continue to did it. Otherwise you’re not certified to do issues. All of these issues which are, like, voices from different folks, I simply don’t care about any of that. So, I’ve sufficient issues in my very own head criticizing myself that I actually don’t have area for different folks. So, I simply don’t even fear about that. I simply do my factor. And I believe that makes it simpler to complete and transfer ahead typically. So that you don’t have these fixed, , voices in your head type of factor. Okay, so ought to we discuss our targets for 2024? 

Elsie: Sure, so we’re simply going to shuttle and share a few of our 2024 targets. So, my first one is, that I wish to be getting into my artwork period. So, I shared a bit bit about that earlier than, however I wish to change into an artist. I’ve been engaged on it. It’s one thing that may be a dream of mine that I’ve had, truthfully, since childhood. I really feel like I lastly have simply the tiniest little little bit of area in my life to deal with it and I’m going to take that chance and I positively see it. There was a time final yr when Emma mentioned on the podcast that she was constructing one thing for her 50-year-old self by writing fiction and I liked that. I give it some thought on a regular basis. And that’s how I really feel about doing the artwork now. I simply wish to begin one thing that’s steady, that I’m constructing for the long run, and I’m not apprehensive about, like, the pace I’m going at. Truthfully, my requirements are very low typically for, like, what number of work do you wish to do? Like, I don’t have any targets like that. I simply wish to hold doing it, hold having fun with it, hold experimenting, and like, type of similar to nurture a enjoyable yr. So I believe I can do this. And It feels actually thrilling.

Emma: I adore it if you’re in your portray eras too. 

Elsie: Oh, thanks. 

Emma: I really like seeing like your period, like all of the paint simply piled up and like simply all of the stuff you’re making. It’s cool man. So I’m glad you’re again into it. It’s superior. And now her period contains child artwork the place you’ll be able to inform like the children had been hanging out together with her whereas she was portray and so they’re making their factor and , it’s only a enjoyable period. 

Elsie: There’s quite a lot of coexisting, my studio is certainly a shared area and I adore it. 

Emma: Yeah, I adore it. Okay, my first objective large objective for the yr is to complete and put out the audiobook model of Handmade Homicide. So I actually wished to do that earlier than the tip of the yr final yr however now, as , I’m pregnant and I used to be very sick, and that’s mainly why I didn’t get it completed. I simply was very sick, and all I may actually do was get my common work completed, that like really pays my paycheck, which isn’t writing proper now, and be guardian, the very best guardian I may very well be whereas being sick. That’s all I may do. In order that’s all I did, and I didn’t get the audiobook completed. I’m planning to learn it myself. Each as a result of I believe quite a lot of you’ll in all probability hearken to it and also you’re used to my voice, but additionally for price range causes, I’m self-publishing as , so the concept of sitting and studying for hours whereas I used to be that sick, I simply couldn’t do it. There would have been so many like my editor must like, take out so many like, blah, oh, so I used to be like, nope, can’t do it, however I’m nonetheless going to get it completed and it’s nonetheless an enormous precedence to me as a result of I believe audiobooks make your work a lot extra accessible. You realize, I’ve folks in my life with low imaginative and prescient. I additionally personally love audiobooks and I understand how a lot you hearken to audiobooks. It simply makes it like simply far more accessible for therefore many various causes. 

Elsie: I believe that so many individuals have a job the place they, like one thing you do together with your arms the place you’ll be able to hear. It really will increase my focus, I believe. 

Emma: Yeah, me too, like, after I’m enhancing pictures, I hearken to one thing, at all times. 

Elsie: Yeah, so that you simply don’t simply, like, begin clicking on random issues. Yeah, I believe that it’s one thing that I imply, I believe that the success of podcasts and the success of audiobooks are type of the identical factor. It’s like this place in your life the place you’ll be able to simply have somebody in your ear and it turns into like an enormous a part of your life. I adore it. 

Emma: Yeah. And there’s a bit piece of me that’s like excited to do it. You realize, I had an period of my life the place I took quite a lot of performing lessons and I used to be type of on this period the place I used to be doing a bit little bit of performing. I’m not a performer in that manner, however I believe studying my very own guide sounds actually enjoyable to me, and so I’m trying ahead to it. And so, I believe that was a bit piece of it, too, was I used to be like, I don’t wish to simply muscle by way of this simply to get it completed. I wish to take pleasure in it, as a result of I’ll not at all times learn my books, however I might need somebody extra certified for me to do it sooner or later. However this one, I believe I’ll. I believe it is sensible. So I’m excited. That’s on my record. It’s a objective. It’s type of a holdover from final yr, however I did have purpose and I don’t really feel unhealthy about it, but it surely’s on the record now.

Elsie: I wish to hear again if you’re completed, like how difficult it’s as a result of it appears to be like to me, it appears to be like actually difficult. 

Emma: I do really feel like studying one thing may be very completely different as a result of the one time you hear us learn on this podcast is the intro. And once we do advertisements.

Elsie: And the ghost tales episodes.

Emma: And the ghost tales. So, it’s fairly completely different than simply chatting. Like even simply the best way you maintain your physique. Like to wish to have the ability to learn and have a microphone, what I imply? It’s a bit little bit of a talent.

Elsie: Yeah, it’s a really practiced talent to make it at all times really feel pure. And likewise just like the voices, like quite a lot of narrators, , use completely different voices and even like accents and all types of issues. So I’m very excited to listen to the way it goes for you. 

Emma: Yeah, I’m excited to do it, and I believe it is a good guide for me as a result of quite a lot of characters are based mostly in Missouri and quite a lot of influencers and quite a lot of girls, so I really feel like I don’t need to have that vast vary of, like, completely different performing what I imply? So, I believe it’ll be enjoyable. Anyway, I’ve talked about this too lengthy, however the audiobook’s coming, it’s on my record, and I’m engaged on it. First objective of the yr. 

Elsie: Good. Yay. I’m excited. So, my subsequent objective, it is a little obscure, however I’m leaving it on as a result of I believe it’s one thing I actually need, is I actually wish to work on, like, my way of life. So, final yr, I positively felt that I used to be in survival mode for a lot of the yr, we had been within the largest renovation we’ve in all probability lived by way of. Nah, possibly like with youngsters. One other large one. It’s laborious to say. It’s laborious to quantify them. We had been renovating. We had been transferring. It was my first summer time having youngsters house for the entire summer time with no baby care, which was a really large change. Nobody was like, Hey, you could be ready. And simply another issues. Yeah. Some private issues. And it was a difficult yr and I’ve had a number of moments the place I used to be like breaking down and crying and being like, I believe I may, like, there’s no purpose why I can’t make my way of life rather a lot like extra joyful and joyful and similar to little issues to look ahead by way of all through the week So it’s truthfully like little issues, however I simply wish to have like way of life like wholesome way of life filled with household time and Hobbies and issues for me and alone time, and like not as a lot hitting these partitions of, like, burnout and exhaustion and, . I believe it’s laborious for any guardian and truthfully, in all probability any working particular person and there are many the reason why it occurred, however I positively felt like I may focus extra on myself, the entire put your personal life masks on idea, and that that is perhaps like good for everybody. 

Emma: Yeah, I can at all times inform that I’m getting into burnout as a result of I yell at my canine much more. The primary particular person to get abused by a poor canine and I’m like, oh, I believe I’d have to take a nap or go have a snack, one thing’s fallacious. Okay. Yeah. I adore it. My second objective on the record is mainly to attempt to end my weblog put up record for the yr. So we would discuss this in one other episode if persons are . Tell us. I believe persons are . 

Elsie: This is among the topics I actually wish to discuss extra about. 

Emma: However to sum it up for now, till we do a extra in-depth what’s our enterprise as much as episode, to sum it up, Elsie and I and Laura, now we have a complete record of what weblog posts we’re going to do for all of 2024. We made the record in direction of the tip of final yr. It’s an enormous record, as you’ll be able to think about as a result of we publish day-after-day.

Elsie: We’ve by no means deliberate a complete yr forward of time earlier than, we normally plan month by month. So that is extraordinarily bold just like the record was big. It was actually completely different for us. 

Emma: Yeah. To know what I’m going to work on this Might right this moment is type of humorous, and I believe some folks wouldn’t prefer it. And in some methods, it’s bizarre like in some methods it’s not as spontaneous. You realize, however there are additionally some issues about it that I actually love. Like if you happen to made a professionals and cons record, I believe the professionals record is manner longer for me. And it’s a very lengthy record. I additionally plan to do a bit of labor forward. I’d prefer to have posts go up whereas I’m on maternity depart. And naturally, it’s not a requirement, but it surely’s simply one thing that I take pleasure in. It makes me really feel like I’m nonetheless type of current whereas I take break day to take care of my newborns. So anyway, I’m planning on doing a bit little bit of that. And, yeah, in order that’s mainly an enormous objective of mine. That’s what I’ll be doing throughout all my work hours, however I’m enthusiastic about it. And it’s an enormous record, so it’s positively like a, you’ll be able to’t be losing your time, you’ll be able to’t be having too many, , women who lunch moments. You actually gotta keep on this record right here a bit bit, so. Nevertheless it’s enjoyable. I like having a little bit of a grind. It’s enjoyable. 

Elsie: Yeah. I received’t take over your objective, however I agree. It’s like so inspiring. Okay, so my subsequent one is to be a reminiscence mother. So I believe when I’ve occasions of feeling like I’m in survival mode as a guardian, , I believe there’s manner an excessive amount of, manner, manner, manner, manner, manner an excessive amount of guilt on mother and father. There’s manner an excessive amount of parenting recommendation on the web, greater than we will ever probably like apply or use or, , it simply turns into typically like one thing that may be type of suffocating. So, yeah, the factor that I deal with after I simply wish to type of get again to the large image is core reminiscences for the children. And the reality is that core reminiscences don’t occur day-after-day. They don’t even occur each week. They’re extra like as soon as a season, prefer it’s like, what’s the large factor, the large thrilling factor that I’m going to do for them this season. And possibly there are elements of life the place you are able to do a complete bunch without delay this spring. What’s the one factor we will do with the children that we’ve by no means completed earlier than that we all know they’ll love? That, , it’s going to be like, a bit bit of additional work for us, however have an enormous payoff for his or her reminiscences. So, yeah, that’s my objective for the yr. I believe that after I first grew to become a mother, I felt like I needed to make day-after-day, like, particular and excellent and artful and, like, at all times be making cookies. It was enjoyable within the occasions after I was capable of obtain that. However within the occasions after I wasn’t capable of obtain that, it was simply type of like deflating. So yeah, now on this present period of my parenting journey, I can see that it’s a marathon and that it actually doesn’t must be that many reminiscences. Similar to specializing in the large ones. 

Emma: No, I adore it. And yeah, my final objective for the yr, so I simply have three, Could be very a lot about momming as nicely, as a result of the objective is just about to develop a child, give delivery, and hang around with them for at the very least a couple of months whereas they alter into being on the planet, ? And I believe that it’s on my record. In some methods, it’s like, nicely, after all I’ll do this. So, why would you even put this on a objective record? However I additionally really feel like if you happen to don’t make area for one thing that’s essential to you, even when it’s like, yeah, after all, you’ll do it, however In case you don’t make the area for it and type of additionally like put it on the record to provide your self a like that is one thing essential and if you accomplish it, it’s best to really feel good. You shouldn’t simply really feel like, Oh, I simply did the naked minimal. It’s like, no, you probably did one thing that’s laborious and also you’re targeted on it. Yeah, no, I don’t wish to overfill my plate. And I simply wish to know that like, that is essential. And it is a large a part of my yr this yr and I really, , have quite a lot of occasions I believe each guardian does this, however I’ve quite a lot of occasions the place I’m like, oh, you’re not that nice of a mother. You’re not current on a regular basis. You’re not, , no matter your youngsters in daycare, you’re not there on a regular basis. However then I at all times attempt to take these steps again and be like, no, no. Truly, I’m doing the perfect that I can. I actually am, and I’m very pleased with the mother that I’m. I believe adjusting from being a mother of 1 to a mother of two is one thing I’ve by no means completed earlier than, and I’m going to make the area to let myself do it and let myself have laborious moments in it and be unhealthy at it at first and possibly be unhealthy at it for some time. And that’s okay as a result of I’m simply gonna do my absolute best, and that’s all you’ll be able to ever do. 

Elsie: Yeah. I believe that that’s actually, actually clever. Once I went from one baby to 2, I don’t suppose I actually did that. I believe I assumed that it will be simply the identical, however higher. And it was a really laborious transition, and that’s really the yr I began remedy. So, I believe that figuring out forward of time that like, the transition isn’t in all probability gonna be straightforward is nice, , after which whether it is straightforward, good for you. For some folks it’s, however for some folks it’s not. Yeah. I believe that’s actually good. 

Emma: I don’t know which it’ll be for me, however I’m going to make the area for it.

Elsie: Good. Yeah, hold that plate good and empty since you really, have a lot you’re doing already. 

Emma: Yeah. It’s going to be an excellent yr. Yeah. It will not be like a quote-unquote high-achievement yr, but additionally it’s a high-achievement yr and I’m excited for it. 

Elsie: Yeah. I believe will probably be. Okay. My final objective is to remain true to my phrase to myself that I’m not renovating my home this yr. 

Emma: You are able to do it, Elsie. You are able to do it. 

Elsie: Yeah, I don’t even suppose we’re gonna construct a swimming pool this yr. I haven’t selected that one for certain. If we do it, that’ll be the one factor. And I’m allowed to place wallpaper within the laundry room. That’s type of only a very small factor. 

Emma: Yeah, that’s a small factor.

Elsie: However yeah, aside from that, we’re lastly completed renovating. We’re at a cheerful resting place, and we had some, like, actually severe marriage conversations final yr that, the place my husband was expressing that, like, he felt like we had been renovating for 10 straight years, and yearly I used to be saying it was nearly completed, and that was true. Yeah. And I believe I didn’t understand I used to be getting burned out till after I used to be fully burned out and we had been nonetheless in the course of it and we like type of a few of we type of had to take action proper now we’re on like a compelled hiatus and we selected it however we additionally I’ve to form of like power myself as a result of it’s towards all of my habits like all the pieces within me simply needs to begin renovating initiatives. Like, far more than I can deal with on a regular basis, however I simply wish to see what it feels prefer to not reside that manner. And I positively really feel that I owe it to my household for them to see what it feels prefer to not reside that manner. So yeah, this yr, no renovating and that’s one thing that I believe may very well be actually constructive.

Emma: I prefer it. 

Elsie: Oh, so now we have a listener query. 

Emma: That is from Sharon. She says, what to do if you really feel you achieved your targets. Do you have a good time or simply transfer on to the following one? 

Elsie: What an excellent query to have. Okay, I believe it’s best to have a good time each achieved objective. I even suppose it’s best to have a good time simply working in direction of a objective. Like, I believe it’s best to reward your self all alongside the best way, particularly if that’s one thing that helps you. It’s like, certainly one of my primary hacks for achievement is celebrating. And I believe it’s like, annoying typically, like, what number of little presents I’ve to provide myself, or what number of occasions I’ve to inform Emma each little achievement in our work, ? And she or he’s like, I do know! 

Emma: I simply despatched my bizarre presents. That’s all I ever do.

Elsie: I believe celebrating is a particularly essential a part of being goal-setting particular person at the very least it’s for me. I believe if you happen to don’t have a good time your achievements and also you solely simply transfer on to larger and higher, then that’s actually unhappy for one. However I believe additionally, like, don’t you suppose that’s extra seemingly that you’d burn out? And form of like setting your self up for , I don’t know. Similar to benefit from the freaking achievement. 

Emma: Yeah. I imply, I believe all people’s completely different. I’ll say typically the achievement seems like a celebration. It actually is determined by what you’ve completed. You realize what I imply? Like what the achievement is. And I’ll additionally level out that celebrating an achievement is obscure. It may imply quite a lot of issues. True. Like there are occasions I do one thing small and I actually simply go on a stroll, and I am going on walks typically that’s a part of my health life and a part of my psychological well being. And I do what I name my gratitude observe, which all I’m doing is speaking out loud to myself about issues I’m grateful for. Typically a part of my gratitude observe contains primarily telling myself how nice I’m doing at one thing, telling myself like, so if I simply obtain one thing, then I’m like strolling round my neighborhood, speaking out loud to myself. Once I see somebody, I cease. I don’t wish to look loopy, however speaking to myself about how, Hey, you probably did that factor. You labored on that for 2 months, and it appears to be like nice, and you probably did it, , or no matter it’s, or like, you had been type of scared to begin that, and you probably did it, Emma, you began, and also you completed it, and, , no matter. So typically celebrating will be actually small, like that, after which typically if you have a good time, it must be large. You need to, like, have dinner with a bunch of buddies, and it’s since you did one thing that you simply’re pleased with. And like, that’s cool. That’s a cool transfer. You don’t have to really feel, like, bizarre about that. It’s enjoyable, and individuals who love you’ll like to have a good time you. It is determined by what the achievement is, is what I’d say. However I do suppose, like, you’ll be able to at all times discover at the very least a small strategy to have a good time a small achievement, however for these large achievements, I do suppose it’s best to, like, make a plan and, like, do one thing.

Elsie: I agree. I believe discovering methods to have a good time which have an enormous number of, like, value factors. And time dedication, like issues you can similar to do, what I imply? Like easy issues and like saving these large epic issues. I believe large epic issues are thrilling too. I’ve discovered that over time it’s laborious to acknowledge your self. It’s simpler if you happen to’re like, you’re in a job the place they provide out quite a lot of awards or they’ve like a chart on the wall or one thing, however if you your self. are the proprietor of a enterprise and also you make an enormous achievement, quite a lot of occasions we’ll similar to roll previous them. Discovering methods to mark these achievements with one thing, , in your personal reminiscence, I believe is basically wholesome.

Emma: Yeah. Additionally, that is associated, however actually small. It is a factor I do. Typically buddies or my husband or, , no matter, my mother and father will likely be like attempting mainly to have a good time me. They’ll be like, you probably did a very good job with this. Like, Elsie’s the very best cheerleader on the planet. Each time you’ve moments like that, strive actually laborious to only be quiet and hear and say thank you rather than simply brushing it off as a result of that’s like at all times my inclination when somebody offers me a praise to only deflect it. I get it, it doesn’t make you extra humble to deflect, by the best way. Simply let folks let you know that you simply did job and simply take a second and take in it. And say thanks. 

Elsie: Deflecting each praise is only a unhealthy behavior. It’s not an indication of humility. It’s truthfully type of unhealthy manners too. It’s regular, everybody does it, however if you untrain your self and also you change into capable of settle for a praise, I believe that that’s such signal of development.

Emma: Yeah, I agree. 

Elsie: Cool. Ooh, so subsequent we’re going to speak about our Q1 guide picks. So, we determined to do three books this quarter, and they are going to be for January, February, and March. And as a reminder, our guide membership is Willy Nilly. What do you suppose is the precise definition of Willy Nilly?

Emma: Free. Undefined. I don’t know. 

Elsie: So, we’re going to learn three books that we’ve by no means learn earlier than, and this time we’re doing two fiction and one non-fiction. We selected a type of suspenseful guide, after which we selected a romantic guide, after which we selected a self-help guide that appears type of, like, the title appears very promising to me.

Emma: Yeah, to be trustworthy, I haven’t had anybody advocate the nonfiction. We simply type of, like, noticed it in an inventory, and as we had been, like, studying the outline, we had been like, this sounds good. So we type of do not know, however we’re gonna give it a go and see the way it goes. 

Elsie: Even when the guide is disappointing, the idea is basically essential.

Emma: The idea’s nice. 

Elsie: So I really feel like I’m . Okay, so the books we’re doing are The Solely One Left by Riley Sager. That’s our suspensible guide. 

Emma: After which we’re doing The Useless Romantics by Ashley Poston, which is like extra of our cozy, I don’t know if it’s gonna be tremendous romantic, however the premise makes me suppose, like, I don’t know if it’s a romance only for my romance readers on the market. I don’t know if it’s fairly in that class. I believe it’s gonna toe the road, however I believe it’s gonna be extra of a comfortable learn like anybody would adore it kind factor. Look it up. 

Elsie: After which the non-fiction guide we’re selecting this time is The Braveness to be Disliked by Ichiro Kashimi. And we haven’t learn this guide, we’ve by no means heard it beneficial. I believe it was first widespread, is it in Japan? However I really like the title, The Braveness to be Disliked. I believe that for ladies, for folks within the web period, there are simply so many various the reason why this is perhaps essential to you. I do know many people are self-identified folks pleasers. I’d like to unlock an unhinged period for myself the place I simply, like, actually have enjoyable. I’d love that. 

Emma: Yeah. And I additionally, once more, we haven’t learn this but, so we’ll see. However from the, like, subtitle and, like, the outline that was, like, inaudible, I’m certain it’s on the again of the guide. It doesn’t seem to be it’s like, the way to not give a fuck and be an asshole. It looks as if it’s extra like, hey man, that is gonna assist you to with happiness. That is gonna assist you to to middle on your self and like what you actually need and who you’re and be assured in that. I believe it sounds nice. I’m trying ahead to it. 

Elsie: Yeah, I’m excited for certain. These three books, put them in your learn record if you wish to learn together with us and we will likely be doing the guide reviews someday earlier than March.

Emma: And now it’s time for a joke, or a reality, or a meditation with Nova. 

Elsie: Hey Nova, what do you’ve for us this week? 

Nova: A reality. 

Elsie: A reality? Okay. 

Nova: Do you know the tune Jingle Bells was really meant to be a Thanksgiving tune, however by the point it turned out to be a Christmas tune? 

Elsie: What? I don’t suppose anybody knew that. I believe you taught us all a brand new reality right this moment. 

Nova: Have week. Bye. 

Elsie: Thanks a lot for listening. You may submit your questions at podcastatabeautifulmess.com anytime or name us on our voicemail at 417-893-0011. You realize what we’d additionally like to listen to is strategies for the consolation rewatches for the spring and summer time, nope, simply the spring, that aren’t vacation motion pictures. Something that’s not a vacation film, that’s a consolation rewatch for you, we wish to hear. And now we have been amassing quite a lot of strategies. It’s so enjoyable. So we’ll be again subsequent week with a deep dive into our favourite winter issues.



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